You're about to learn something.

It's probably no surprise to anyone who's spent any time at all with this blog that I am a complete nut for cute animals. And baby animals? Fuggitabout it. Total sucker.

So imagine my utter delight when, last week, I learned that a show about bebeh sloths was going to debut on Animal Planet. That's right: Bebeh freakin' sloths.

Here's the trailer:


SEE?!! Couldn't you just DIE?!

I set my DVR to record that sucker faster than you can say ZOMG ADORABALLZ, and Saturday night, after I stayed up and watch as surprisingly entertaining Saturday Night Live all by my lonesome, I decided I'd watch a few minutes of my recorded sloth show. Holy mother of CHRIST, y'all. The show focused on this sloth rescue facility in Costa Rica, and I spent the next hour grinning and full of squee as I watched the sloths and learned all about these seriously weird creatures.

But here's one part of sloth life that I did not know about: They only poop like once a week. And when they do, they slowly descend from their tree where they are hanging out, and hold on to the base of the tree trunk and, you know, do their business. In the rescue facility, they have to teach the babies the behavior, so once every few days, the handlers take the sloths and set them at the bottom of a tree and let them just sit there until they poop. As one of the ladies who works at the facility said, "When you see their little hips begin to move back and forth, you know something's about to happen." And you guys: the blissed out looks on these animals' faces while they're dropping their deuces? Fucking HILARIOUS. I mean, I was about to pee my pants just watching them happily crapping while hugging their respective tree trunks. However, since this was a classy show, they didn't actually show any of the sloth leavings, or "scat" as my wildlife biologist husband might say. And I know that you sick bastards are wondering the same thing I'm wondering, right? "Hmmm...what kind of poop could elicit such a look of pure joy on the face of such a creature?" Well, thanks to the power of the interwebs, you and I need wonder no more.

Ladies and gentlemen: Sloth poop.

Oh. My. GOD IN HEAVEN!! Can you beLIEVE that shit? (Pun intended.) I laughed so hard I wept when I first encountered this photo.

Sloth shit. So now you know.