Maiden voyage.

Um....hi. I'm blogging, I guess.

Welcome aboard. Drinks on the Lido Deck at cast off. We'll be in Cozumel at sunrise.

Today's big news: $235 spent at the vet's office to have my elderly cat's teeth cleaned. Why, you ask?

• Because they've never been cleaned and they've got 14 years of cat gunk built up on them.


• Because she's got "weak kidneys" and an infection introduced through her skanky teeth/gums could be problematic.


• Because I've got a crush on my vet, and he said I should have her teeth cleaned.

Today's other big news: My co-worker...I'll call him Gunther...picked his skin so much on his face all day that it appeared as if he'd had a chemical peel by 4:00pm. It's a horrifying thing to watch, really. A nervous habit, obviously. But really--when you're having to wipe the skin you've picked off your desk a couple of times a day, maybe it's time to invest in some moisturizer and/or consult a psychiatric dermatologist. Man, is it ever gross.

So there you have it: my first exciting blog post. Oh yeah, they'll all be at least this good. Check back early and often. I'll freshen your pina colada as needed.