I'm just sayin'.

If this is "the greatest conversation piece you ever own", then you've led a pretty sad life.

You know what sucks?

Cancer. That's what.

Today is the anniversary of my cousin's toddler son dying of cancer.

One of my good friends is burying his father--who just died of cancer--today.

My uncle is fighting like hell against an aggressive type of cancer that has attacked (among other things) his spine, upon which he endured a 10 hr. surgery at M.D. Anderson yesterday.

And Saturday will be the seven year anniversary of my father losing his battle with stomach cancer.

What the FUCK, y'all? Who out there reading this hasn't been touched in some way--either personally or through a friend or family member--by this horrible, HORRIBLE disease. It just infuriates me--and breaks my heart--to think about it.

This holiday season, be thankful for every healthy day you have and don't ever, ever take that health for granted.

The Geej's Christmas List, Verbatim

Dear Santa Claus,

For Christmas I would like:

• A Barbie house with three Barbies and kids and stuff in it—a couch, and a potty and a sink, and a bed for a mom and kids, a backyard, a balcony, and a baby room
• A bell for my bike
• Some real gum—a whole stack of it in all different flavors
• My own real iPod with Hannah Montana music on it and night-night music you can put on there · Earphones for my iPod
• A little thing that you can strap on to a table so that my babydoll can sit in it and eat dinner
• I would also like my own bakery (Real)
• A movie called “PowerPuff Girls and Christmas”
• A whole new earring box with new earrings in it
• A get-ready thing with everything in it that my mommy uses to get ready
• Lipstick
• Stuff to make my room and bathroom smell good (spray)
• My own real computer like my mom’s
• A t.v. in my room to watch
• An ambulance with a hospital and a fire truck that I can play with with my toys (I already have a police car, so you don’t have to get me one). I want stuff that goes in them like a nurse, a doctor, and a little wheelchair that you can push people in that has wheels.
• A school house with a bell
• A 100-piece puzzle because I already know all of mine
• A doctor and nurse for cats and little cats that can fit in there and a place that it waits with its mom
• A mop to mop stuff
• A pretend hamster wheel for my pretend hamster and a little bed and it has its own comb and spray and its own little bath and its own cage and a little thing that they drink some water
• A pretend playground like my plaground at school for my Little People to play on

And for Dah: I want something purple that when you walk in it makes her smell and it smells super good everywhere and a purple candle

Karla May's Philosophy Nugget

This is the first, in what I hope, will be come a series of "nuggets".

One is not BORN a megalomaniac. Instead, one BECOMES a megalomaniac when he a) assumes he is 100% right 100% of the time, b) thinks that his way is the one and true way, c) refuses to listen to dissent and assumes peope are idiots when they actually question his way, and d) think that he is doing people a favor--nay, saving them--by sharing all of his wisdom.

Feel free to discuss. And to disagree with me. Because you see I am NOT a megalomaniac, and can therefore endure and respond to dissenting opinons.

Martha Stewart in Training.

The Geej spent Saturday night with my mother. One of the things The Geej loves about my mom's house--besides the fact that she has her OWN room with her OWN toys including a huge and fully-furnished dollhouse and a play kitchen and her OWN computer--is the fact that it has stairs. I too was fascinated with stairs when I was little--always wanting to climb any staircase I saw so that I could discover what was "up there". The Geej has requested, in fact, that our next house have not only a swimming pool and a playground, but also a flight of stairs.

So, when you marry her love of stairs with her excitement about Christmas getting ever nearer, I guess I shouldn't be too suprised with the decorating project she undertook while out at my mother's this weekend.

BEHOLD!! The Most Festive Stair Rail of All Time!!

And yes, it goes all the way to the top. (Here, The Most Festive Stair Rail of All Time is pictured with the artist.)

Feel free to adorn any stair rails you might have in YOUR house with multi-colored, sparkly pipe cleaners if you'd like. As you can see, it adds class and a splash of color, just in time for the holidays.

The best salad ever. I promise.

There's a joint here in Austin called House Pizzeria. It's up on Airport Boulevard. If you haven't been there, go. Like, now. The pizzas are imaginative and very, very good. But the thing that made me fall in love with this place is a damn spinach salad they serve. And it's the simplest thing in the world to make, which is good since I'm currently OBSESSED with it and make it at least a couple of times a week.

First, put your baby spinach leaves in a bowl. Get the pre-washed, baby spinach because it makes the prep time so much easier and faster, which means that the salad gets into your mouf mo' faster.

Second, drizzle just a little bit of olive oil on the leaves and put a little bit of sea salt. Gently toss. Don't put too much olive oil or toss to crazily b/c you'll bruise the leaves. Next, squeeze the juice of 1/2 a lemon on the leaves.

Last bit, add some freshly shaved Parmesean.

And you're done*.

Serve (or eat) right away or the leaves will get wilty.

*House Pizzeria puts dried, crumbled salami on it if you order off the menu. But I don't eat salami, so this is the only way I've ever had it. It's the simplicity that makes it so amazing.

You're welcome.