I'm back. Sort of.

I'm not going to go on and on about how guilty I am for not blogging, even though I am. I mean, sometimes, at the end of my day (which is when I usually find the time, presence of mind and solitude required to blog), I think to myself, "I should really blog...but fuck it." And y'all? That's a recent thought. At least the "fuck it" part is recent. Never, since I started blogging several years ago, have I thought of this as a chore or something that I didn't WANT to do. To me, it's always been a release, a way to share, and--at the very least--a way to write and document what was going on in my fairly-normal-but-sometimes-extraordinary life. But lately? If I even think about this blog (which, admittedly, I rarely do), it's with a sense of dread because I haven't posted in so long or worse, because I'm simply overwhelmed with the idea of sharing the completely boring goings on in my life.

So to try and get my mojo back, I share some bullet points and a photo or two:

The Geej turned five last week, which is amazing in and of itself because it proves how insanely fast time flies but made even more so by the fact that she a) begged to get her ears pierced for 3 months, b) I caved and let her and c) she was as cool as a cucumber during the whole process:


Wow, people. Right now, she's in the middle of "performance camp," that culminates in a show this Friday, and in a couple of weeks, she starts freakin Kindergarten. WTF, indeed.

The Geej was showered with many MANY gifts and enjoyed a "bouncy house" birthday party with some of her favorite friends. But I must say, thus far, her most beloved gift has been the "Totally Hair" Barbie head given to her by her Aunt Jaye. You see, I am mean and evil and will NOT buy my child anything Disney Princess- or Barbie-related because I find their portrayal of womanhood suspect at best, and therefore will not support them with my well-earned dollars. I leave that to her friends and relations. So when Aunt Jaye presented The Geej with what we've affectionately been calling "The Head," it was a trip to say the least. I mean, The Head had to come with us to her birthday dinner at Red Robin that night and sit on the table next to her grilled cheese and lemonade. And right now, The Head is tucked in beside her in the bed (along with Sally and Chino) . Don't believe me?

Yeah...so there's that.

And right after her b-day party at Germ-a-Palooza, guess what? The Geej--who is almost NEVER sick--got sick. Fever and coughing. Got her in to see the doctor on Monday, and he confirmed that this was something viral that was "going around" and should run its course in "4 to 5 days." So we've been hanging out while I've been trying to play nursemaid while simultaneously working from home. Why not just take the time off and care for my sick child? Well, because I have only ONE GODDAMNED PAID TIME OFF HOUR in my paid time off bank, DESPITE the fact that I rarely ever take time off. Isn't that awesome?

So between that situation and the fact that we're on our 45th 100+ degree day here this summer, I'm in a pretty crappy general mood. Sorry.

But you know what IS making me happy? Kenny Fucking Powers. Don't know him? Well, maybe you should:

I promise...

...I'm writing.

It's just not here.

It's at work.

It's on that horrible EVIL Faceplace.

It's on another super secret blog that I may (or may not) have that may (or may not) chronicle my frustrations with my body image (and/or feature photos of kittens).

It's on grocery lists.

It's on epic, neverending "To Do" lists.

It's on applications to writing workshops that have (oops) already occurred.

It's on life insurance policies.

It's on bills.

It's happening. I swear. Just not here.

And for that, I aplogize.

I am not blogging.

I am not blogging because this week has sucked.

My allergies (apparently I have mold allergies, and really never knew it until this week when they KICKED MY ASS) have made me hack like a 3 pack-a-day smoker and have made me pretty much unable to sleep.

The current and ongoing standoff with my mother (long, long story) and her complete unwillingness to communicate with me has made me physically ill.

My total apathy about most everything in my professional life has made me grumpy.

The glimpses into what The Geej is going to be like as a five year old (sassy, back-talking, defiant, hyper-emotional...wait, that's what she's going to be like for the next 20 years...YIKES!) have made me exhausted.

The sense of being overwhelmed by everything I NEED to do versus the amount of time I have to do said things has made me crumble.

And my desperate need for and yet complete lack of temporary solitude has me feeling like an exposed nerve ending.

I am jittery and pissy and totally on edge.

And I am not blogging.

I know. I suck.

Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with me lately.

I keep having the almost-uncontrolable urge to cry. I'm having WICKED nightmares almost every night. And I have no blog mojo.

But I don't want to leave you empty handed. So pleae enjoy my latest YouTube offering: Our dog Shiloh doing her "happy dance"--now with SNEEZES!!